i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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