Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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