So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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