Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
