it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
