I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
