do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
