There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
nutella sex= disaster
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Text me some of your sweat
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
