i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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