physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Randomize
