Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Randomize