Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
