Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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