Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
