Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
