Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
