Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
