As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
