My nipple is on Facebook.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize