I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
