Even the bartender felt bad for me
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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