I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
