Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
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