We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
