Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
