I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Randomize
