he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
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