i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
