it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
