At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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