i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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