The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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