just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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