Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I need a beard to bite.
I currently don't understand fingers.
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