Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
