Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
