Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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