i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
