i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize