you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
