I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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