oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
