i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Randomize
