I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
People in love make me want to vomit
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
