I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
