Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
