I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
