i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
