Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
