you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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