idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
