I want to have your abortion
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize