Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
