I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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