i don't plan on having that self control this summer
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
