I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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