We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
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