Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
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