bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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