I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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