return my video game
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
