the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Randomize
