we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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