You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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