Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
