I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
