Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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