Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I'm just crazy horny about you
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
