she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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