There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
