Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
